


Snowboarders are brutes!

by medeadea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Humor, Oikawa gets what he deserves, Winter Sports, i guess, which is being pelt by snowballs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medeadea/pseuds/medeadea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Seijou 3rd years are on a skiing vacation and Oikawa gets his punishment for being a brat.<br/>Snowballs!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snowboarders are brutes!

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Haikyuu!! Christmas Gift Exchange for tumblr user Snowlymint.
> 
> Also, yes, I've been part of a snowball fight over the same argument before. Playing in the snow is awesome! :D
> 
> (This isn't beta read btw, constructive criticism is welcome!)

Tooru groans as he fastens his shoe and straightens himself. After six days of doing exactly this every morning, it’s mostly for show. His shins have become surprisingly desensitized to the hurt and pressure of his ski boots and he wiggles his toes as much as he can in their confinement. It’s not much.

He can hear Iwa-chan close his own snowboard boots behind him, the zip of strings being pulled tight and velcro being ripped open and fastened again. Iwa-chan stays completely silent, not even a tiny noise of complaint and Tooru pinches his face. Why couldn’t ski boots be this comfortable?

“Hey princess! Wanna get your ass on a snowboard yet?”

That’s Makki, no doubt, crunching over the snow and pulling his snowboard after himself at the line like a sled or something. Tooru squints at him.

“Hell no, you barbarians ruin the piste, I’m not gonna join your ranks! I’ll stay with the real kind of snow sports, skiing, and let you children scrape down the mountain on your one ugly board. No finesse at all, these things.”

Tooru knows that they have been arguing over this since the four of them came here a week ago. But he is not backing down just because they’re three and he’s the only one doing the most beautiful thing you can do on a snowy mountain. He feels generous enough to even be seen skiing with a bunch of snowboarders and they need to know their place. Newfangled nonsense is what that is.

Suddenly something hard hits Tooru in his not yet helmet-protected head and he lurches forward, almost losing his footing in the loose snow in front of their holiday apartment.

A belting laugh resounds from the direction of the ski shed and Tooru turns to see Mattsun having abandoned his snowboard in favour of forming snowballs. He has already managed to produce three before Tooru was able to compose himself and decide to retaliate. But then again, Tooru is too competitive to let this kind of sucker punch slide.

“Mattsun, you ass! I’m gonna get you back!”

Mattsun just grins and gears to throw his next snowball, but he hesitates and that is the chance for Tooru. He strikes with a barely formed snowball and hits Mattsun square in the chest. But Mattsun doesn’t even look down to gauge the damage, he averts his eyes to the side.

And _that_ is when Tooru knows something isn’t right.

Before he can do anything, he gets hit squarely on the ear and that _hurts_ and it’s _cold_ and he can hear Makki’s cackling of ‘ _Nice one Hajime-chan!_ ’ and his shutters go down. Tooru is under attack and he needs to defend himself. He throws his body to the ground, barely avoiding Makki’s first snowball and grins at Makki’s disappointed moan of failure.

But then he gets hit full on his butt and that was a big snowball, definitely with some ice in it and thrown really hard, and Tooru can hear Iwa-chan roaring in laughter.

Only when another snowball hits Tooru’s upper arm he realizes he has to change his strategy. Right now he’s lying on the ground surrounded by attackers on three sides and he has no defense against these superior numbers. He needs to find a way to guard himself and to force his enemies to attack him from one side only.

Tooru crawls forward as fast as he can towards the snowbank he had stuck his ski in only five minutes prior, with entirely peaceful thoughts in mind, looking forward to a day of racing down the mountain, maybe finally getting the turn over the biggest ski jump right. And now he’s being betrayed by his so-called friends, his own unsuspecting thoughts that _could’ve warned him,_ and the snow itself, his favourite element!

Tooru’s being pelt by snowballs and he thinks it’s incredibly unfair. He just got hit in the head _again_ , he can’t move as fast as he’s used to because his stiff ski boots keep slipping, and all he hears is laughing and cackling of the meanest sort.

Finally, after struggling to get behind his snowbank, Tooru is safe for a few seconds and has time to sort himself. The snowboarding faction have ceased fire and laughter for now, and are probably building more ammunition, something Tooru needs to do himself really urgently. But first he lifts his ski out of the snowbank and positions them in the shape of a cross over the top of his defense snow wall. Like this he can look over the snow and between the ski without being seen immediately, all the while he’s a little more protected from the enemy fire.

Tooru jams his ski boots into the snow so he has a secure seat, turns around to make certain that he can’t be attacked from behind - he can’t, there is the wall of the house behind him without any windows. He would trust Makki and his sneakiness to walk back into the house, with his damn snowboard boots on, just to get at Tooru from above. As it is, Makki can’t. _Ha!_

Slowly Tooru manages to produce a small amount of tightly pressed snowballs at his side, but with every ball his worries grow. The others have been quiet for too long, he can only hear the rustling of their jackets and trousers, the squeak of their shoes and thick gloves pressing snow. He can’t locate them, though he guesses they have migrated together and are planning a concerted attack against him.

After a moment of consideration, Tooru stops making snowballs, pulls his ski goggles out of his coat pocket and puts them on. You can never be careful enough and he has to make the best of his equipment. His boots have excellent hold in the snow behind the snowbank and he can move around pretty well.

Tooru grins. It’s time to attack, to surprise his enemies before they can surprise him.

He lifts himself up a little so he can look through the triangle between snow and ski and immediately spies his foes squatting in a huddle in perfect aiming distance. They aren’t talking but gesticulating wildly, Tooru has no idea what they’re trying to do. Apparently they haven’t been able to agree on a strategy yet. Tooru almost scoffs. Boneheads, all three of them. They won’t stand a chance against him, even if it’s three to one in their favour.

Tooru takes the time to make three more snowballs and then doesn’t think twice. His first snowball hits Iwa-chan squarely in the back of the head, his second one lands on Mattsun’s bicep and the third gets Makki on the thigh. Immediately the three of them scramble around and Tooru gapes at the massive pile of snowballs they have managed to form. It’s gonna be a hard fight.

Tooru ducks his head back down behind his defense and the first snowballs hit his ski. He knows he’ll be bombarded with snowballs as soon as he looks up to aim, but he has to make some sacrifices, he can’t throw without looking. So he takes another couple of snowballs, weighs them in his hand, aims lightning-quick and blazes away at his enemies.

In the process an enemy snowball grazes his goggles and two others crash into his ski and spray him with bits of snow. Tooru realizes that they have been creeping closer to him and hears Makki snicker. That has to have been his snowball on Tooru’s goggles.

Whatever. Tooru gears up for his next attack round and sticks his head up at the right side of his ski to aim and throw them off. But even like this he can’t get a proper look and both of his missiles sail by the huddle of snowboarders. To add insult to the injury of his poor aim, Tooru gets pelt in the mouth by a small snowball right before he disappears behind his wall again.

He sputters and hears the guys start cackling again. He discerns Mattsun’s voice whisper-stuttering ‘ _Did you see that, Makki? I got him full on the mouth!_ ’ A glove-clad high five sounds through the air and Tooru grumbles. ‘ _Just you wait, traitors!_ ’ he thinks and moves back between the ski.

He comes back up with his last snowballs , fires them off in the direction of Mattsun and Makki and has less than half a second to contemplate that he can neither see nor hear Iwa-chan anywhere, and isn’t that strange?

In a flash Tooru’s _entire_ field of view is filled by the grinning face of said boy and he realizes he has been ambushed. He doesn’t even have the time to rear back, that’s how fast Iwa-chan shoves his ski to the side and tackles him over the snowbank.

In his effort to brace himself for their fall, Tooru pushes his hands back and therefore loses his last line of defense. Of course Iwa-chan takes the opportunity to shove as much loose snow into his face and down his neck as he can. Tooru sputters and flails but Iwa-chan’s laughter is so loud in his ear as he holds Tooru down that Tooru can’t help but start laughing with him.

Mattsun and Makki come jumping over the snowbank as well and together they form a big, violently squirming pile of teenage boy, laughing like maniacs and shoving snow everywhere at the others. No matter who it is, they get bits of cold snow in every gap between pants and coats, necks and scarves, sleeves and gloves.

Only after several minutes they calm back down again, Tooru is still buried under at least one and a half other boys and his giggles peter out slowly. He sighs.

“Are you done with your superiority rants now?” Iwa-chan asks, draped across his legs and picking out bits of melting slush from under his scarf.

“Hmmm, fine,” Tooru answers. “Are you brutes done? Can we move to the piste?”

Mattsun chortles and turns on his back, Makki boxes his arm.

“Only if you stop this farce with the dumb ski versus snowboard thing. We all know you’ve got stars in your eyes when you see Hajime deep-snow boarding and jump over the roof of that cabin.”

Tooru rolls to the side, hides his face behind his hands and whines.

But at Iwa-chan’s startled laugh he grins again.

“Fiiiine,” he singsongs and the others laugh. “I just wanna get moving, you assholes!”


End file.
